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Are You Being Used?

Are You Being Used?
Are You Being Used?

There’s a difference between helping someone out and letting them walk all over you. Take this quiz to find out if people take advantage of you. 

Do you do things you don’t really want to get people to like you, or don’t you know how to say no? Nobody wants to be a doormat. But the other extreme is never doing anything for anyone. Balance is important. You need to feel good about helping out those you care about, but not to the extent that they take advantage of you at every opportunity. Find out if people are abusing your good nature, and what you can do to stop it, in this quiz.

1. You and your partner have been invited to the birthday party of one of his work colleagues. Which one of you would stick to drinking fruit juice all evening and drive the other home?
a) The one whose turn it was to do the driving. 
b) you would organise and pay for a taxi to collect the pair of you. 
c) you would stick to non-alcoholic drinks and drive him. 

2. One of your friends is going on vacation and wants to go to the mall to buy some holiday outfits. On the morning of the shopping expedition what would she be most likely to ask you?
a) If you would come along, as she values your opinion.
b) If you would like to come, but also lend her some cash.
c) If you would baby-sit while she hits the shops.

3. Your partner treats you to a romantic meal in a restaurant, but when the bill arrives he says that he has left his wallet at home. What do you think you’d do?
a) Offer to wait in the restaurant while he goes home to get his wallet.
b) Pay for the meal as your treat.
c) Pay the bill, but only on condition that he pays you back.

4. You’re shopping at a sale with your friend when she spots a gorgeous coat at a knockdown price. She asks you to stand in the long queue for her while she waits for you at a coffee shop. What would you do?
a) Tell her that you don’t want to queue for her.
b) Agree to do so, being happy to help her secure her bargain.
c) Reluctantly agree because you don’t want to risk losing her friendship.

5. If you were to win a large amount of money, how do you think your friends would react?
a) They would expect expensive gifts.
b) They would be jealous of you.
c) They would be happy for you.

6. Your friend has just moved into a new house and she invites you to visit. How would you most likely spend your time while you are there?
a) Relaxing with a DVD and a takeaway.
b) Helping her to unpack her boxes and arrange the furniture.
c) Making a start on decorating the kitchen while she takes a relaxing bubble bath.

7. You go away for a week-long business trip. What are you likely to find when you get home?
a) Your partner has spent hours preparing a welcoming meal for you.
b) Your partner, unable to look after himself, had spent the week at his mother’s place.
c) There is a pile of dirty dishes in the sink and a heap of stinky clothes in the laundry basket.

8. It’s your best friend’s birthday. Finances are tight for you, so you decide to give her a handmade gift. How do you think she would react to such a present?
a) She would be delighted by the thought and care that had gone into it.
b) She would be annoyed that you haven’t given her an expensive gift.
c) She would pretend to be delighted but really be disappointed it wasn’t something from a shop.

9. You have saved up to buy a new music system. You are about to make your purchase when your partner suggests you buy a different one as he likes it more. Would you take his advice?
a) You would give him the money to go and choose the one he thinks is best.
b) Yes, but only if he offered to pay half.
c) No, you would buy the one that you wanted.

10 You are going to the movies with a group of your friends but one of them has to cancel because she can’t find a babysitter. What would you do?
a) Offer to babysit while she goes to the movies with the others.
b) Suggest the entire group goes out on another evening.
c) Go without her.

Add Up Your Results To See Your Final Score
  1. a: 0 b: 1 c: 3 
  2. a: 1 b: 2 c: 3 
  3. a: 1 b: 3 c: 2 
  4. a: 1 b: 2 c: 3 
  5. a: 3 b: 2 c: 1 
  6. a: 0 b: 1 c: 3 
  7. a: 1 b: 2 c: 3 
  8. a: 1 b: 3 c: 2 
  9. a: 3 b: 2 c: 1 
10. a: 3 b: 2 c: 1 

From 1 to 10 
There is a big difference between being used and being a good partner or friend, and you are yet to find the happy medium. Try to be more flexible. Not every request is an intrusion. Good judgment will allow you to see the difference between someone who is trying to use you and another who trusts you enough to ask for your help.

From 11 to 20 
The image that you portray to the world and your actual character differ greatly. On the face of it you seem a generous, easy-going person who will do anything for anybody, but you are really much more strategic.  Underneath the surface you are a clever person who refuses to be taken advantage of and can easily identify someone who is trying to use you. You’ll willingly help true friends, though. 

From 21 to 30 
You must learn to have more respect for yourself. Try to be assertive, but don’t overdo it and become aggressive. Stand up for yourself and say no when you feel it is necessary. Don’t worry that you will alienate people by refusing to comply with their demands; it will have the opposite effect and cause them to respect you more.

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